I STILL Miss Thee!

I realized something recently. Actually, I think that it is something that I've always felt but suppressed or thought that I was over it since last year. I realized that I have never gotten over leaving California. I never really have. I still feel that moving back to Michigan is one of the biggest mistakes that I've made. Damn, what was I thinking? Well, I knew what I was thinking before I moved back to this seedy state. Since I was unemployed, didn't want to go back to my job at Block Buster, missed my mom, and wanted to start a home based business, I thought that moving back to Michigan would be the best thing. I wish someone would have came, slap me over the head and said, "Girl, ARE YOU CRAZY? DON'T YOU MOVE BACK TO MICHIGAN! YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES OF YOUR LIFE!"

Even though my sister was going to have me leave anyway, I really came back to Michigan by my own volition. I knew that I could have stayed if I went back to my old job at Block Buster, but at that time I didn't think that it was worth. That job was stressful as hell and I couldn't handle it. There was HIGH tension, the employees didn't get along, and they were pressuring us to sell those lame Block Buster Online promotions. The Block Buster that I was working at got closed down sometime after I moved back, and I see why. When I was there I thought that store should have already been closed down. I am rambling. I really don't want to talk about Block Busted.

If there was a foretoken of what my life in Michigan would be like after I moved back, I would have stayed in California. I honestly believe that my life would have progressed or be in a better situation than wear it is right now if I hadn't moved back to Michigan. California made me feel so lively, so exuberant, so positive. I think that it would have given me to boost that I needed to be motivated and really do better for myself. Then again my biggest goal at that time was establishing a successful home business that would not only allow me to work full time from home eventually, but would give me enough financial resources to move out of my sister's place and find my own somewhere in either San Diego or Las Vegas. Las Vegas was cheaper to live at than in California and they had no state income taxes which would leave more money in my pocket. So yes, that was my goal. I wanted to create a successful home business that would give me the autonomy and finances to live a comfortable life. Now that I think of it, starting a home bases business was my biggest motivator for moving back to Michigan. That and I wanted to be closer to my mother. I missed her a lot. I was going to start my home based business in Michigan, make enough money to be to move out (I wasn't looking to be "rich" from it. I was looking to make enough to live a comfortable life. I wanted to make at least 5k a month since I was planning to move back to California where the cost of living was pretty high), and move back to California. But unfortunately, my plans did not go the way I had hoped.

I moved back to Michigan in November of 2007, just in time for Thanksgiving. Damn, I just had to leave Cali. When I came back to Michigan I found out that they were in a one state recession (this was before the huge financial collapse in 2008). I'm thinking that I would have better opportunities here, at least when it came to find work which was one of the reasons why I moved back. But nope. And that wasn't all. The state was just a lot worse than before I left it. Even though San Diego would follow, they had a lot more jobs.

The thing is that I've been a bit depressed ever since I've been in Michigan. Well, maybe not depressed but I certainly haven't been as happy. The first reason is because being here mad me feel like I took a huge step backwards. California, to me, symbolized progression. California is ahead of everyone else in the U.S., especially Michigan. I felt like I was being reverted back to my old life, going back to the past. I hated it that feeling. I wanted to move forward in the state that had abundance and liveliness, that had great diversity and many things to do. Michigan has none of that.

Another reason is because California is SOOO BEAUTIFUL. It really is. They have the mountains, the hills, the ocean. OMG, it just takes your breath away. It is s scenic and beautiful. Even in some of the worse areas you can still see the beauty. when I was living with my sister, we were living in an apartment that had a great view of the hills. Also, you have the palm trees. They also have AMAZING WEATHER. It doesn't snow there, at least where I was, and the sun was almost always shining no matter the time of year. Oh, just thinking about it right now makes miss it immensely. Michigan, on the other hand, is a HUGE eye sore, at least the area that I'm staying in. You have raggedy abandoned factory buildings (well, raggedy buildings in general), and no natural beauty as far as the eye can see. Plus there are not a lot of opportunities here.

A lot of the people in California are amiable and cheerful. Not everyone of course, but people there are generally happy. And why wouldn't they be? They live in one of the most beautiful and abundant states in the union. Also people there are diverse. There are so many people from all around the world living there. It's just a big melting pot of people. Here in Michigan people seem miserable. Maybe it's the weather, or maybe it's the fact that Michigan doesn't have shit to offer. Either way people are attitudey.

I've been I have been gone from California since late 2007 and I continue to miss it. My first year back was horrible. All I could think about was California. I yearned HEAVILY to go back. I would cry because I missed living there so much. I miss the people, the things to do, the scenery, and the weather. Gosh, I just missed (and still do) almost everything about it. Michigan pales in comparison to California. Michigan has nothing going for itself.

I guess when you move from a state like like California to a state like Michigan, you don't really fully get used to the differences, especially if the previous state was WAAAAY better.