Standards of Beauty of Standards of Non-sense?

I wrote a note on Facebook about the standards of beauty. I posted there because I thought more folks would see it. I am going to copy and paste what I wrote and put it here.


I have been meaning to write about this for some time now. I typed in my status a few days ago asking why people thought Michelle Obama was ugly. This, and the critical comments about Gabby ( the actress who played "Precious" in the movie...uh... "Precious") inspired me to write this blog. I should have typed about this when I was hot about this topic, which was a few days ago. But, I will nonetheless try my best to convey my thoughts and feelings in this blog.


I have read comments, mostly from men, who say that they think Michelle Obama is ugly. I know that the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" rings true in most cases, but it seem like a lot of men (NOT all, for men who maybe reading this) share this same consensus regarding Michelle Obama's beauty level. When asked about why they thought she was ugly, they just gave insults; no constructive criticism whatsoever.


I was also watching a video of a women who said that she didn't understand why people were telling her that Gabby S. was beautiful when clearly she didn't feel the same way. In the description of the YouTube video, she asked if there was an agenda in people bombarding her with "Gabby is beautiful" comments.


Yes, there is an agenda, and here's why:


It is no secret that, in this society, women are pressured to look beautiful. But the thing is, today's beauty standards are to unreasonable, and dare I say... UNREALISTIC! Why is it that if a woman doesn't look or come close to looking like Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Tyra Banks, Megan Fox (or whoever that heifer's name is), Halle Berry, Kim Kardashian, or whoever else who is looked at as the poster girl of beauty in our society is considered unattractive, especially by a lot of men who all this beauty non-sense caters and appeases to (lets be real)?


And while I am on the topic of men and beauty standards, I am going to keep it real. If there are any men who happen to be reading this, please try not to take umbrage to this because, while I may say men, just keep in mind that I don't mean in a general sense. I believe that most men may feel this way, even if they deny it out of defensiveness or are too ashamed to admit it. But I am also aware that there are exceptions to every rule, so if this doesn't apply to you, then please don't be offended. This isn't a misandrist's (which I am not, by the way) rant on why men are this and that and the other. I am merely going by empirical evidence and inferring from there.


Like I said, society's high beauty standards for women are catered to appease men. That is really what it all boils down to when it comes to this subject specifically. Now, that is not to say that women don't perpetuate this as well. They do, especially if they are already considered beautiful by society's standards. But, unless the women are attracted to the same sex, then this really doesn't apply to them. These beauty standards are geared to satisfy men. So, are men responsible for these high beauty standards. Yes, although they are not by themselves culpable.


I believe that there are three main factors that causes this drive for beauty to continue.


1. The media


2. Men who this is really catering to


3. Women


Wherever we go we see the media, whether it's on billboards, television, radio, magazines, internet, etc. And the media has a big hand on influencing us on thinking a certain way or making a decision, whether we realize it or not. Of course that's not the case in every minute aspect of or lives, but it does have a big hand in it. After all, we are products of our environment, and the media is a big part of our environment in modern society. Now I know that people are sicking of hearing the "brainwashing" or "conditioned to" lectures, but we must not rule that out since, as I've said, the media is a big part of our environment. Men are taught from a young age, as well as women, what is considered beautiful and desirable. We have learned from a very young age that this is what men are supposed to desire and be attracted to, and this is what a woman must strive to look. The media plays a big a role in this. And for anyone who may be dubious about these claims, let me mention this:


Marilyn Monroe, who was prominent sex symbol back in the 50's and early 60's before her demise, was a size 10-12. Yes. I read this and initially couldn't believe it. In a society that's obsessed with being thin, this most famous and revered sex symbol, back it the day, was a size that society would considered to be heavy. But yet, she was desired, even by the most powerful man in the country at the time, John F. Kennedy. But of course, that was back then. As society progressed, women were pressured to be as thin as they can, even if it didn't look healthy.


Another example. I read that, in the Victorian or Renaissance era, one or the two, women who were a little plumply were desired. As a matter of fact, if you look at paintings from those eras, you will see a lot of rubenesque women in those paintings. These women weren't rotund large women, but you could clearly see that they had more meat on them than the average woman.


As a matter of fact, quit a few cultures back then saw these types of women as desirable. The main reason being is because her wide hips made her came off as being more fertile, or should I say, healthy enough to birth children. Maybe back then slim women gave off the impression that they were gaunt, barren, and not healthy enough to bare children? I don't know.


But in today's modern society, we see that is not the case. Those women in those paintings, and in those eras, would be way below the beauty standards of today. But this really just points out that, as I've stated, that what we considered beautiful is somewhat influenced.


Here is another example. I have heard on the Tyra show and read online (not related to Tyra) that men (again, not all) who watch a lot of porn videos become less attracted to and have less desire towards their girlfriend/wife. The reason is because, in their mind, the women in the porn videos make their wife/girlfriend's body seem substandard. Yeah... I'll use that word. It makes their significant other's body seem substandard and not good enough, thus the reason for their diminished desire towards them. That is pathetic. And it is in this case that I believe both men and media is responsible. The media for helping perpetuating this standard, and the men who have girlfriends that they no longer desire physically because of the women in the porn video, for being fastidious and unreasonable in regards to beauty. That is not realistic, not even those types of professions. In those professions a lot of women get plastic surgery and enhancements to look the way they do.


Now would be a good time to go into reason #2 why this standard of beauty continues to thrive. It is because men, who this is catering to anyway, agree and unapologetically go along with this. They not high and unreasonable expectations when it comes to physical beauty in women. They are making taking these unrealistic expectations and applying it to the calibre of woman that they want, and nothing else would do. A lot won't stop to think that these standards are unreasonable and even unattainable for a lot of them, nor do they care. Any woman who may not fit the bill are disdainfully looked down upon, and even insulted. I already mentioned Michelle Obama and Gabby S. on the offset of this note. Why do they feel that these women are so ugly, well, mainly Michelle Obama? And why are the looks THE most important thing?


I think the thing with "human nature" is that we have a need to be accepted. Even some of the so called mavericks and rebels of our society may have this need. The thing though, is that women who are seen as aesthetically inferior are degraded by a lot of men (trust me, I KNOW) and treated like the dirt sh*t under one's feet. This is a problem because it breeds discrimination. You are discriminating against someone who had NO CONTROL over how they look. It's like a genetic lottery. Either you get it or you don't. It does breed discrimination, and let me give you an example.


I was watching an interview with Gabby S. on The View at YouTube. I saw it and I LOVED it. Gabby has such an effervescent and spunky personality. She was extremely funny and very articulate. But, when I looked down and read the comments, all I saw were insults after insults after insults. A lot of people who were b*tching about how she looked didn't even mention the other good qualities that I already mentioned in this paragraph. Nope. They went on and on and ON about how fat and ugly she was. They don't find her attractive? OK. But to go on and on about it by insulting her is only engendering discrimination. Anything else that she had to offer was completely overlooked. And a lot of these comments were made by men. Women were making these comments too, but this is an example. They refused to look past her looks and see anything else.


It is the same thing with Michelle Obama. Yeah, forget the fact that she is intelligent and any of the good qualities that she may have. Nope, what I hear is that she's ugly. It is not only immature, but narrow minded. No, you don't have to be attracted to her, but why is her physical beauty THAT important? We extol incidentals (looks) and dismiss everything else. Physically, there is no perfect beauty. So why keep something so unattainable so high, and anything REASONABLE on the low denominator? If one finds that Michelle Obama is ugly (I don't think she is), it is wrong to go on and on about something that she and no one else can help. She was born the way she was and that's that.


There are good women (and men) who are being passed up and passed on because they don't have the model type look. That really shows where someone's priority is, especially when it comes to finding a mate. I am not saying that physical attraction isn't important (because I know that people will bring that up), but for it to be THE MOST IMPORTANT THING? Really?




In conclusion, we live in a beauty driven society, and anyone who doesn't fit the bill may be discriminated against. It is sad because there is more to a person than how they look. But we have such a narrow view that that is all we want to see and refuse to see anything else. Therein lies the problem with this stand, at least for me.


P.S.: There are some things in this note that are either missing or ambiguous because I had, and still have, a major block when it came to writing this. There were so much more that I wanted to say, but I wanted it to be precise. I have trouble convey my thoughts clearly. Maybe in the future I will revise this. But I stopped here because this is all I can give for now.