You know, it shocks me - although it probably shouldn't - how that people today have such a flagrantly high disregard for marriage. I'm serious. So much so that I want to talk about it. Hell, that is what this blog is here for, right? People get married, and when it doesn't work out, they seem to blame marriage itself. Now, I'm not saying that they don't look at why the marriage failed, such as someone cheating, abuse, neglect, etc., but when it doesn't work out, it seems that they blame part of the their problems on the marriage. Some people say things like, "oh, ever since we got married, blah blah blah." Actually, what I find is that, people who get married REALLY had NO business getting married in the first place.
I hate to say it, but people - particularly women, I'm sorry to say - get married when the relationship is blatantly fucked up. Hmm. . . Now I know that I am being a little brusque here, but it's the truth. I have noticed that people get married thinking that it's going to SOLVE their relationship problems. That is the wrong, WRONG, reason to get married. It you know that you relationship is tearing away, that is NOT a good reason to get married. Marriage will not fix the problem. If anything, it will only exacerbate the problem.
Here is an example: Say a woman - let call her Toya for sake of example - has a boyfriend that has showed lack of interest in the relationship. He is constantly going out with his friends and not spending time with her, he doesn't have any interest in what she want to do, and he is just being neglectful all around. He seems to not be taking the relationship seriously, and yet, she feels that, if they get married, that will change him. She feels that marriage will make him more committed. After all, she does love him. That is NOT a good reason to get married, PERIOD. If he is this disinterested in the relationship NOW, than why would she think that things will get better if they get married? IT WON'T!
Here is another - and a more serious - example. Tina's boyfriend is cheating. yes, CHEATING! She found out and he gets caught. Now, all of a sudden he feels guilty. And not guilty for the actual act, but guilty because she found out. So, to mollify her disappointment, what does he do? He proposes to her. Now this proposal - to her - represents serious commitment. But, do you want to know the truth? It's not serious commitment. He knew that his philandering ways fucked him up BIG TIME! So, if he wants the keep the girlfriend he so remorselessly betrayed, than he has to do something BIG to make it up. And it that case, they should NOT get married. If he proposed to her, she needs to turn him down FLAT! Marriage is not going to make him any more committed. There are married men every day - as I am typing this - who cheat. So, if the man is cheating, no matter how much she may love him, she needs to turn him down, and dump his womanizing ass. Marriage will not going to reform him. He has to want it for himself. And if he doesn't feel bad for doing the deed, than guess what? He is going to do it AGAIN! And if they were to get married, and he still cheats, that will make it worse because marriage represents the ULTIMATE commitment.
Another problem is people's attitude towards marriage. People tend to see Marriage as a life time PRISON sentence than a life time commitment of love and unity. Again, that is the WRONG attitude to have. If you have that attitude about marriage, than OF COURSE the marriage is going to fail. Marriage maybe a lifetime commitment, but it is FAR from a prison sentence. I think the reason that a lot of people - mostly men - feel that it's a prison sentence is because they think that after they get married, the fun is over. That's not true. No more parties, no more friends, no more of the "good life." That's not true. "The fun" doesn't have to be over just because one gets married.
There are a lot more I want to type, but I might make a part 2 sometime.
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