My Ideal Man. Yessir!!! ♥

I was on a message board earlier where one of the topics was what are the qualities you are looking for in a mate. I am just going to copy and past it here.


Hmm, lets see.

Well, as far as the his physicality, I am attracted to men who have boyish good looks. For example, Bobby Valentino.

You could never tell that this man is PUSHING 30.

So yeah, Boyish good looks. Just a very youthful appearance. I love that.

Now, to what I feel is the most important...

Intelligence - I LOVE intelligent men. Well, I gravitate towards intelligent people period, whether it is a man or a woman. But, I don't like pompously intelligent men. I don't want a man who has a haughty attitude and have relentless disdain for others because he knows more. For me, that "quality" will outweigh the fact that he is intelligent. Just because you are intelligent doesn't mean that you are better than anyone else. I also don't want a "know it all." So yeah, someone who is intelligent but is humble about it, is open-minded to (re)learning if need be, and who doesn't come off as a "know it all" who has to be right all the time. Yeah, I know I know. Good luck with THAT one, right?

Politeness - He should be polite. I love a guy that says his "please" and "thank yous," as well as his "May I's" and "excuse me's." Now, when we are alone, and he farts or something, he does't necessarily have to say excuse me. The prude in me would want him to, but gas is a natural bodily function that none of us like, so he doesn't have to, not unless he wants to. Now, if he is passing gas and burping to just be obnoxious and nasty, and not because he HAS to pass, than that's different. That's a no - no.

Integrity - Someone who knows right from wrong. I think that in today's world, finding someone with integrity is rare. But, I know that they are out there. He doesn't have to be all sanctimonious, but it would be nice if he knew and respected boundaries, and he knows how his actions can affect others, as they DO. I think this also ties into...

Respect - I want a man who will RESPECT me, NOT just love me. If he has respect for me, than I know that he will do right by me.

Honesty - Of course, this goes without saying. Everyone says that they want someone who is honest. I want a man who will be honest with me, even if it means hurting my feelings and me getting mad. I might not always be so readily receptive and acceptive to what he says, but it is important for me that he is honest. To me, honesty is like a shot. It may hurt at first, it may be a little stingy, but you know that in the near or far future it will benefit you. You NEED it. I can't really explain it. I will respect a man SO MUCH MORE when he is honest with me. Tell me what I NEED to hear, not what I WANT to hear so you can make me happy. And I don't mean being honest just relationshipwise, but in general.

Youthfulness/Goofiness - I want someone who is fun-loving and goofy. I can't stand a man that has a straight up, serious, get down to business disposition. Now, keep in mind that I don't want an immature guy. NOOOO. But, I don't want a guy who takes life so damn seriously. I want a guy who I can just goof off with. Someone who does't have to "act grown" all the time. We can have pillow fights, shoot nerf balls at each other, play laser tag and arcade games with. Someone I can joke around with and goof off with. We can make fun of each other and do impressions. You know, things like that.

The thing is that I have this innate childlikenss as well as a naivete in myself (someone people would be like, "Is she FO' REAL?" and I'm like ---> ), so I can't be with a man who acts too grown. Now, when someone meets me, they may see me as someone who is shy, serious and mature (and I am), but when I feel comfortable and more relaxed around someone, then people will start to see the other sides of me. But, I have to be EXTREMELY comfortable around you, and I do mean EXTREMELY. A lot of family members don't even know this side of me. I can be goofy, even to the point where it can get a little obnoxious to some people. But, I am a considerate person so I can tone it down. I usually don't let it get to that point.

Thoughtfulness - I want someone who will be thoughtful and considerate of me, as well as others. If you see me carrying groceries in the house, help a sista out. I don't want a selfish guy that thinks about what he wants only. I have to admit, though that I am a bit like this. But, I don't like it and I am working on it. I want a guy that will put in the effort.

Music - I am a music FANATIC. I LOVE music. I just don't know what I would ever do with out it. Music is a NEED for me, so this person HAS to love music, preferably the same kind I'm into (but I am open minded. As long as it's not polka or something. ) NO EXCEPTIONS.

Kindness - Just an all around nice guy. I like intelligent nice guys. I'm not into the vacuous bad boys. I must say that they are tempting, but I wouldn't take them seriously.

I am very shy as well. But, most of the qualities that I stated above are usually inhabited in the shy guys. So, I say this: I would prefer if a guy approaches me, but if not, I will do the approaching. Even though I don't like it, there is something about a coy guy I find alluring. Maybe it's the fact that he's not so abrasive and in your face. If he is throwing vibes towards me that tells me that he is interested in me but he is to shy to ask, then I will take the initiative. I have done it before. I had to be the one to ask my prom date out. No joke. And the thing was that he KNEW I wanted to go with him because a mutual friend told him that I wanted to go with him to prom, so if he would have asked he would NOT have been turned down. But, instead of thinking, "Ok, I'll call and ask her," he tells our friend, "Really? Well, she has my number," after she told him that I wanted to go with him. But, on the other hand, he was a really shy and soft spoken person. He wouldn't yell even if he was on fire.

So yeah. As shy as I am most of the time, I will be the one to approach. But, if a guy does approach me, I want him to approach me like a person, not like a piece of ass. I like a guy to approach me respectfully and politely. But, then again, how a man approaches you will make it transparent what his intentions are. So, if a man approaches me a disrespectful way, then I know to steer clear from him. So, all though I like a respectful approach, I want a man who will approach me honestly. That way I can know if he has good intentions or if he is crazy.